Is Healing a Myth?
A thought has been chirping away in the corners of my curious mind since I wrote my last blog entry, “The Answer and The Alchemy.” Towards the end of that article, I briefly touched on the concept that although I talk a lot about healing on Creative Owlchemy, perhaps healing is not such an accurate word if we are sincerely always whole.
Card from the Soul Trees oracle deck.
The word healing connotes something broken or damaged that needs to be fixed. But even when we are wounded, does that necessarily mean that we’re any less whole? Is something taken away from us when we experience pain? Or is pain merely a temporary layer spread on top of our true entirety of divine essence? I suppose the real question becomes, is healing a myth?
The literal definition of the word “want” is “lack or be short of something desirable or essential,” or “a deficiency of something.” In my recent research and practice of manifestation, this is a deeply discussed topic in the spiritual community and in the teachings of the Law of Attraction. When you say you want something, you’re actually bringing attention to what you don’t have, and in doing so your energy is vibrating in the space of lack. Your Genie in a bottle—everyone has one (also known as the Universe)—will always bring you things that are in tune with your vibrational level. So when you’re walking around in an aura of lack, your Genie is like, “Huh, well that sure is strange. But alright, you’re the master so whatevs. Here ya go. Here’s some more lack, weirdo.”
This is why manifestation is based mainly on belief and gratitude. Be grateful for the blessings you already have, and give thanks for what you truly believe is yours, even if it hasn’t arrived just yet. Manifestation is sparked by owning your desires (which can have a lot to do with self-worth, and so begs exploration of the question: until you believe you’re worthy of your desires, how can you truly believe said desires are meant for you?), and knowing that the Universe is divinely orchestrating things behind the scenes to align you with those desires in the perfect way at the perfect time. When we believe, our little Genie is quite busy working away moving mountains and shifting timelines. Meanwhile all we have to do is kick back and tune in to magic. Oh that Genie, what a guy!
Healing, much in the same respect as wanting, lends itself to the concept of not having something. Missing something. Fixing something. A couple definitions of “heal” in the dictionary are, “cause to become sound or healthy again,” “correct or put right,” and “restore to sound health.” If paralleling this with the want/lack mentality, to say that you’re healing is also to say you’re unhealthy/lost/wrong. So if someone is healing from a broken heart, that means that THEY are broken? That something is wrong with them that needs to be amended? Because they are experiencing an emotionally challenging situation, they must fix themselves to get put right again? They are somehow less powerful than they once used to be? This can’t be true. It just doesn’t sit well. In fact, it’s ridiculous! Outrageous even! Preposterous and egregious!
Oh sorry, got a bit carried away. But yeah it’s kind of strange, isn’t it? One could say it’s even a paradox. Spiritually, we are divinely ever-whole, fulfilled, delightful, and powerful, yet, we must heal in order to become those things. Huh?
There’s a level of shame around needing to heal from something challenging too—a sense that our precious light has been dimmed—that we are merely a shadow of what we once were, and we need to get something back that was lost. A sneaking suspicion that we failed at something, or that we ourselves are a failure. This feeling of inadequacy, powerlessness, and shame does not seem to be conducive to the process of rediscovering our strength, forgiveness, and self-love, a process that could be valuable to us if we view it as a little more inspiring rather than dreadful.
While I do believe that healing is a thing (and in fact, a very, very important thing), I think in general we simply missed the mark at naming the thing. The transmuting process we undergo after trauma would perhaps be better described as ALIGNING, rather than healing. We are not broken or ‘less than’ because something disappointing or painful happened in our lives. We are still our whole selves, through the good and the bad, through the ups and the downs, through the light and the dark. We are experiencing part of our beautiful wholeness because of those things, not despite them. As we journey through the process of alchemizing pain into glory during moments of turbulence, we are morphing into alignment with the next version of ourselves. We are not shattered. We are shifting.
Now that I’ve put more thought into this concept of alignment verses healing, I can’t “unthink” it. And I know there is deeply rooted truth to it because the thought gives me profound peace. When I let go of the idea that I’m fixing something broken and accept the idea that I am never broken, but rather aligning—just sometimes more dramatically than other times, and sometimes more hushed than other times—I can physically feel an exhale of relief. My soul is at ease and I have compassion for any suffering I had previously put myself through in order to heal.
All the darkness and shadows I faced in the “healing” process myself was a necessary transaction in the exchange of one me for the next me. However, if I had more keenly acknowledged it as aligning rather than healing, I think surrendering to the process would have been much more fluid. Floating down a trickling stream as opposed to treading water and fighting the current. Still a dark night of the soul perhaps, but facing that dark night armed with the comfort and wisdom that my soul is a perfectly capable warrior on its burgeoning journey—not a helpless shell.
This is not to say that coming into alignment is easy or painless. It can be quite uncomfortable and feel severe. But the perspective of always being whole while we find our way from one shore to the next is a hell of a lot better than thinking we’re something that’s broken inside. That is merely the ego (the false self) playing victim, trying to keep us safe from the external harms that tempt us to play small so we don’t experience hurt again. But sometimes I think hurt can show us who we really are. How strong we are. How powerful and capable we are. How much love we really have inside us. All along.
This is not a new concept (but of course we all come to discoveries of spiritual principles in our own time and way). I recently did a little reading on Advaita Vedānta, which is a philosophy in Hinduism that literally translates to Non-Duality. The philosophy is based on the concept that only pure consciousness is real, and so the true self is already enlightened. If our authentic nature is whole and fulfilled, then our existence is just that—bliss! Spiritual practice is there for us to realign our perception of reality. The work is not intended to fix us, it’s intended to shift us into a perspective of seeing what is already true. Something we should remember, as opposed to something we should repair.
The Advaita Vedānta philosophy proposes that when we do remember—when we encounter that essence within us that is bigger than our mind and body—we can align ourselves with the knowing of our wholeness—our perfect sovereignty that is already and always the case. In other words, we don’t need to heal something incomplete. We need to realign to recall who we truly are. What a beautiful approach to practice.
Just think of how empowering it would feel to address energy healing modalities as alignment modalities instead. Things like tarot readings, sound healing, crystals, Reiki, candle magic, chakra clearing, or even just intentional and guided meditation, can all become tools viewed through the lens of aligning with your highest truth while incorporating your current growth and wisdom, rather than tools to glue back together a shattered person who needs rescuing.
The Star card from the Vice Versa tarot deck by Lunaea Weatherstone and Massimiliano Filadoro.
In tarot, the major arcana cards represent lessons on one’s life journey (The Fool’s journey). The Star card, representative of healing after trauma, aptly comes after the Tower card, which is the card of unexpected change, chaos, and destruction. The Star card is the light at the end of the tunnel—new inspiration and renewed hope.
Dabbling in tarot reading myself, what I personally love about the Star card the most is its connotation of magic. There’s a whimsical energy to it that invokes a childlike recognition of the playful power we all inherently possess. Healing is not so much something we must acquire, but rather something that belongs to us. A sparkly gift from the Divine. A wish upon a star that already has our name on it. The traditional Star card depicts a naked woman kneeling down beside a stream, pouring water from two cups that she holds under a starlit sky. Hope is eternally ours to dip into. Wishes are granted when we are unfiltered—bare and kneeling in honor of our integrity. Magic is forever available to us. Overflowing within us. Miracles are brightly a part of who we are.
I especially love the illustration of the Star card in The Light Seer’s Tarot deck by Chris-Anne. It depicts a woman sitting by a pool of water, one hand on her glowing heart, and one hand holding an illuminated string that’s hanging down from the sky, one end wrapped around a big, bright star, and one end dangling into the water. It’s like a cosmic kite that she’s reverently gazing up towards, as the purple sky swirls magically around overhead.
The Star card in The Light Seer’s Tarot deck by Chris-Anne.
As much as I love this creative illustration, I also love the accompanying guidebook’s description of the card:
“Sink into the dreamlike inspiration of the Star. She sends a message of divine timing and renewed hope, and she guides you to reach for that string of serendipity and faith. Your future is increasingly bright, and you are blessed by the Universe. Your core purpose is beginning to bubble at the surface of your reality, and your path is intrinsically tied to your biggest missions and brightest opportunities for expansion. Step into a path of fulfillment and happiness with starlight to guide you! Allow your innate essence to shine through any residual darkness right now. Uncover any limiting beliefs or self-doubt that you are holding on to, find the courage to voice any unexpressed emotions, and release every bit of outgrown energy that is anchoring you to the past. It is time to release and ascend. As you let go, you will focus on the future and you will find your biggest source of inspiration and love. The stars are aligning in your favor, and it’s time to trust them.”
There’s that word: aligning! This deck’s guidebook also includes a mantra with each card’s description. The mantra it has for the Star card is: “I expect miracles.” What a perfect disposition for manifestation. Not hoping or wishing for blessings, but faithfully expecting them.
In terms of how this relates to creativity, I believe creativity can be a very powerful tool in assisting us in our realignment processes. It should be pretty clear by now that I hold creativity in high esteem—something in close contact with the Divine. A picture hanging on the wall inside the Genie’s humble bottle abode. And infused in the dazzling magic that’s dispersed in His blue-gold dust as He conducts the orchestra of divine order in our lives.
Sometimes (many times) when I write a song, the lyrics or even the sentiment will start one way, but as I tap deeper into the well of creativity within, the meaning changes and the real message has space to emerge. A melancholy mood becomes a hopeful testimony instead of a mournful cry. Sometimes I’ll surprise myself with my own songs. I’ll be like, “Huh where’d that come from?!” (And my soul is like, “Um hi.”) Perhaps this place—the place underneath layers of ourselves—where the true song materializes is the same place Advaita Vedānta speaks about. The sanctuary of our wholeness.
The unveiling songwriting experience I mentioned most likely has happened many times to me in the past, but I don’t think I really became aware of it so intensely until I wrote my song “Delightful” back in 2015. I was getting ready to fly to Nashville to record my EP (mini album) Rooted Clarity, but I had this nagging feeling that the track list wasn’t quite complete. There was still one song that was missing. I didn’t force it, but my intuition told me there was definitely another song that was meant to go on that EP, and I couldn’t escape the restlessness of this knowing.
Promo photo from the Rooted Clarity days.
One day (I think just a week or maybe two before our recording date) I was feeling disheartened, aware that I was allowing some outside negatively trickle into my spirit. In my bleak mood, I picked up my guitar for comfort and started picking out a pulsating chord progression, letting it conjure up a melody in my voice. I sang the words:
“How did I get here?
Losing myself in fear
Do I know who I am?”
As I let the words say what they wanted to say, I assumed this was going to be a sad song. I actually distinctly remember thinking just that: okay, I guess I’m writing a sad song. It was more than just sad. I was questioning who I was. But as I continued along the road of creative flow, the song took a sharp turn once I arrived at the chorus:
“Take these shades off of my eyes and shine
All of the light inside
We could be delightful
I can’t believe the world is all scary
What if we were delightful?”
Just as clearly as I remember predicting this was going to be a downhearted song, I remember my surprise when I began singing words of hope and feeling a deep sense of encouragement to shine my light as well as remember the light in others, no matter what.
The song materialized line by line and I began to recognize a pattern. The verses were cries in the darkness. (Questions between the lines were: How could this happen? How could they bring me down? Do I even know who I am?). And then the choruses came back as a call to action. (Advice and answers to my doubts emerged: Take your eyes off the darkness and shine the light within. You know exactly who you are. Be that. Be delightful!).
After completing the song, I felt like my whole energy had shifted. It was like night and day. I felt renewed and happy again. I felt like ME again. The songwriting process itself was a realignment back to my true essence. Delight. Music (creativity) had alchemized me. And even though this process was probably nothing new (in a basic sense, songwriting always felt like my therapy), I remember it was the first time I truly realized its power to literally change me, and I was so immensely grateful.
I knew immediately that “Delightful” was the missing song that was meant for Rooted Clarity, and it went on to become the biggest track off the EP, winning over 50 awards for the music video and several songwriting awards, as well as the most reviewed song in the land of music blogs, press, and radio.
Photo still from my “Delightful” music video.
It quickly became my anthem, not because of its outward success, but because of the experience I underwent when writing it. And it was more than just my personal experience. I felt the same alchemy glow with power every time I sang it onstage, as the message of choosing to shine our light as well as honor the light in others reached people in the audience, and seeing (and feeling) their lovely response made me appreciate the message even more. There have been several times in the past when I’ve teared up onstage while singing it, and shared tears with people in the audience too. A song in a club became a sermon in a church. Communion through creativity. Alchemy shared. As within, so without.
I love to behold creativity in this way… A spectacular resource we have awaiting in our heart of hearts that whispers the truth of our essence. It’s there whenever we need a reminder of our strength and inner power. It’s there even when we forget. It’s there to turn a sad song into a happy one if we let it. And it’s there to deliver messages to also remind others of their own creative treasure chests sitting inside themselves, awaiting to be opened and explored.
And the cool thing is, healing (or rather, aligning) is an ongoing process. It never really ends. It’s not linear. There is no real destination. We are continuously shapeshifting into different versions of ourselves. An infinite journey of touching wisps of our enlightened hearts, like grazing the soft feathers of a wild bird with our fingertips that flies just over our heads into an everlasting pink sky.
As much as I respect the healing process whilst going through the valleys of life, I think we could do well by changing the narrative. Instead of viewing ourselves as broken, we are whole. Instead of damaged, we are beautiful. Instead of deficient, we are resilient. Instead of healing, we are aligning.
Perhaps there is no crucial need to become awakened, only a delicate acknowledgment to realize that we already are, and there’s always the opportunity to make decisions and live our lives from that intention. There need not be shame around aligning. It’s co-writing a new song with our loyal Genie. It’s looking up to the swirling cosmos of majestic hope and gently holding on to that glowing kite string. It’s believing and expecting miracles as we morph into various versions of ourselves that are most suited to carry out our sacred missions while we’re here. It’s having overflowing faith in ourselves and the Universe. It’s honoring the light in ourselves as well as respecting the light in others. My oh my, how delightful is that?
Namaste, fellow faithful warrior.
// For those curious, here are the full lyrics to my song “Delightful”:
How did I get here?
Losing myself in fear
Do I know who I am?
I know who I am
How could I let them win?
They talk like they know where I’ve been
Do they know who I am?
I know who I am
Take these shades off of my eyes and shine
All of the light inside
We could be delightful
I can’t believe the world is all scary
What if we were delightful?
How could you drag me down?
Step on me to lift you up
And now I’m losing sleep
Over my happiness you keep
Do you know who you are?
Take these shades off of my eyes and shine
All of the light inside
We could be delightful
I can’t believe the world is all crazy
What if we were delightful?
The more I hurt, I’m vanishing
My mind breeds negativity
The more I care what people think,
The more I’m diminishing
But we could be, oh we could be
We could be delightful
Take these shades off of my eyes and shine
All of your light inside
We could be delightful
I can’t believe the world is all scary
What if we were delightful?
We could be delightful
